Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We talked him into tasing himself.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
