I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize