i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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