dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
