dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize