i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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