Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
