I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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