No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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