Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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