i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
