I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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