Sry I called you an 8
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
