Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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