Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
