His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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