Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
