Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
