I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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