wanna go halves on a baby?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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