so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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