My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
