Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
