Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
