I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
