she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I will be naked everywhere
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
