Only a mothe r could love this liver
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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