Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
"it" just moved
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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