Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
