Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
