I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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