Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
