fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
