yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
