just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We are two peas in an std pod
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
