he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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