New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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