she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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