hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
