I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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