Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
