I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
