you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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