My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
