I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My balls are so social today.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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