thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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