She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Enjoy the penises
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
