69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
