i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
