wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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