their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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