life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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