Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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