he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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