she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
