"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
