and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
