People in love make me want to vomit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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